THE DEED IS DONE.
Step 1: The cake.
Step 2: Girlfriend Emily "Integral" Reigel is given cake.
Step 3: Girlfriend cuts into cake.
Step 4: Girlfriend discovers "oddity" inside cake.
Step 5: Oddity, upon closer inspection, turns out to be engagement ring.
Step 6: Girlfriend Emily "Integral" Reigel says "yes" and will soon become Emily "Integral" Kyanka.
Step 7: Girlfriend, cat, and webmaster are all happy. They become one small, happy family.
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The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.