THE DEED IS DONE.
Step 1: The cake.
Step 2: Girlfriend Emily "Integral" Reigel is given cake.
Step 3: Girlfriend cuts into cake.
Step 4: Girlfriend discovers "oddity" inside cake.
Step 5: Oddity, upon closer inspection, turns out to be engagement ring.
Step 6: Girlfriend Emily "Integral" Reigel says "yes" and will soon become Emily "Integral" Kyanka.
Step 7: Girlfriend, cat, and webmaster are all happy. They become one small, happy family.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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