|Material about upcoming race wars not necessary and poorly cited.|
|Pages missing or I lost them.|
|Paper conflicts with deep-seated personal issues I neglected to share with the class.|
|Protagonist in short story is obviously you.|
|Most papers don't begin with the word "firstly."|
|I would like to buy drugs from you after class.|
|You obviously have new and interesting opinions about abortion, euthanasia, and/or the death penalty. Thanks for sharing.|
|I would give you the grade you deserve, but I am an indentured servant whose low wages are completely reliant on student evaluations.|
|How in the name of all that's holy did you manage to graduate from high school?|
|Have a great summer!|
Be on the lookout for these armed and dangerous oldsters.
Instead of complaining about the cold, ask yourself where Spring has been all this time.
Kurt Cobain and gang finally learn the truth behind Morton Downey's evil scheme.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.