|Material about upcoming race wars not necessary and poorly cited.|
|Pages missing or I lost them.|
|Paper conflicts with deep-seated personal issues I neglected to share with the class.|
|Protagonist in short story is obviously you.|
|Most papers don't begin with the word "firstly."|
|I would like to buy drugs from you after class.|
|You obviously have new and interesting opinions about abortion, euthanasia, and/or the death penalty. Thanks for sharing.|
|I would give you the grade you deserve, but I am an indentured servant whose low wages are completely reliant on student evaluations.|
|How in the name of all that's holy did you manage to graduate from high school?|
|Have a great summer!|
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.