|Material about upcoming race wars not necessary and poorly cited.|
|Pages missing or I lost them.|
|Paper conflicts with deep-seated personal issues I neglected to share with the class.|
|Protagonist in short story is obviously you.|
|Most papers don't begin with the word "firstly."|
|I would like to buy drugs from you after class.|
|You obviously have new and interesting opinions about abortion, euthanasia, and/or the death penalty. Thanks for sharing.|
|I would give you the grade you deserve, but I am an indentured servant whose low wages are completely reliant on student evaluations.|
|How in the name of all that's holy did you manage to graduate from high school?|
|Have a great summer!|
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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