|Material about upcoming race wars not necessary and poorly cited.|
|Pages missing or I lost them.|
|Paper conflicts with deep-seated personal issues I neglected to share with the class.|
|Protagonist in short story is obviously you.|
|Most papers don't begin with the word "firstly."|
|I would like to buy drugs from you after class.|
|You obviously have new and interesting opinions about abortion, euthanasia, and/or the death penalty. Thanks for sharing.|
|I would give you the grade you deserve, but I am an indentured servant whose low wages are completely reliant on student evaluations.|
|How in the name of all that's holy did you manage to graduate from high school?|
|Have a great summer!|
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.