"Hulk's Practical Joke"
The Incredible Hulk #291
When the Hulk sets up camp across the street and "haunts" General John Ryker's home with a hidden walkie-talkie, things quickly get out of hand.
Hulk: Booo! Haha, Ghost Hulk haunting you forever!
Ryker: No! Please, stop!
Hulk: Only one way to stop Ghost Hulk and Ryker knows it.
Ryker: I... see. (blows his head off with his service pistol)
Hulk: Give Hulk candy. Hulk's favorite Sour Patch Kids. Hello? Stupid walkie-talkie run out of batteries.
Ghost Hulk: Living Hulk never had batteries in walkie-talkie.
Hulk: Gasp! But that mean...
Ghost Hulk: Yes. Walkie-talkie actually run on solar cell. Still working. Just quiet because Ryker dead.
Hulk: Oh, okay! Hate going to grocery store for batteries.
"Hulk's New Costume"
The Incredible Hulk #317
Forget Spider-Man's black costume, this is the superhero outfit that people will be talking about for years!
Spider-Man: What the heck are you supposed to be? Some sort of steering wheel?
Iron Man: No, it's obvious he's taking a stance against smoking. I commend you, Hulk. Cancer is no laughing matter and it's about time one of us did something about it.
Hulk: Hah! Stupid pals, Hulk's costume means "not letter O".
Hulk: Look close. Is O with line through it. Means not. Might have to tilt your head to see, maybe squeeze eyelids a little.
Iron Man: And what does the O stand for?
Hulk: No, you miss the point. Is not the letter O.
"Learning The News About The Space Shuttle Challenger"
The Incredible Hulk #373
Most Americans remember exactly where they were when they heard that the Challenger exploded. Now we can all experience that fateful day through the eyes of the Hulk.
Hulk: Heh... heh heh. Did you hear news? Ha!
Hulk's Girlfriend: HA HA HA!
Hulk: HAHAHA! First eggs good for you, now eggs bad? Come on! HA HA!
Hulk's Girlfriend: Oh, I thought you were referring to the Challenger explosion.
Hulk: What that have to do with eggs?
"Hulk Forgets He Can Punch Things"
The Incredible Hulk #390
Why would a man who shattered an asteroid twice the size of Earth with a single punch use guns? How did someone with so many publically documented emotional outbursts pass a background check?
Hulk: Argh, trigger broke again! Fifth puny gun today!
Referee: This is the worst boxing match I've ever officiated. I'm calling an end to this bloodbath of a fight!
Joe Glass: No... one more round. (coughs up blood) I've got him on the ropes!
"Pushed Into The Pool"
The Incredible Hulk #451
How will the Hulk respond when he's the butt of a cruel joke in Manhattan's biggest party of the year?
Hulk: What the big idea? Hulk wearing new Italian leather shoes!
Cameron: Calm down, fat stuff. It was just a joke.
Hulk: You pay for this!
Cameron: Why's the water turning purple?
Hulk: Haha, told you you'd pay.
Cameron: That's not even my pool.
Hulk: It not even my pee. Hulk brought Galactus' urine just in case. Checkmate!
The Remains of Bidet (James Ivory, 1993)
We might find we have more in common than we think if we just stop fighting long enough to combine our bodies into a singular organism.
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