WHAT'S UP FAGS?!
Hey you homos, I got a letter from that future guns Navy SEAL dork saying it was almost time to do another gay ass meeting. He wanted to go to Syria, something about HALO drops or whatever.
I don't even own an Xbox. Those things are for little babies and homos.
So forget all that crap, here's the deal. Me and the boys have put together something we call the Bar-B-Q in the garage out of an old short bus.
We sawed the top off and installed a wood bar top, six different beers on tap, fully stocked shit. Then we added in these fold out propane barbecues. Ultimate party vehicle.
I was thinking take that to Miami, get some strippers. Sound good?
You ladies talk it over if you're not too busy kissing dudes at musicals or whatever. I've gotta go inject some testosterone into my dick and bone some broad that was in pornos.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.