The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has been leading the way in the development of robots for the next war America fights. DARPA seems to be pretty certain that America will be sending land-based robots in alongside any other ground forces. From the rubble crawling "LittleDog" to the more than seven-foot-tall ATLAS, things have been getting creepy.
Rather than keep its robotic minions locked up, DARPA and its partners at Boston Dynamics have been posting Youtube videos of various robotic tests for the public to watch.
And quiver in terror.
The ATLAS is an offshoot of the Petman bipedal robot. More on the Petman later. The ATLAS is huge and it has binocular vision and LIDAR to see your heartbeat through walls. Watch it climb stairs and jump. Watch it walk on a treadmill while Boston Dynamics technicians swing a wrecking ball at it trying to knock it off balance. Not even a barrage of terrible electronic dance music seems to phase this remorseless killing machine.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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