When you look at a pelvis, or feel around down there, you notice that it is composed of the right and left lobe. Imagine it looks like a butterfly, and these two lobes are the wings. Sometimes, if you do things wrong like walking past your limit or sitting too far, imagine that these wings flap. Consequently, the pelvis snaps shut like a turtle beak and lots of stuff gets trapped between. Guts, the genital ball, air and wastes. Now your legs are too close together, knees tangle, you look awkward and you can't sit down. Many years ago, we correct this only with surgery, but today there are drugs that you can buy with us that will help you.
Buy our bottle of pelvis oil and pour it in whatever holes you see down there. In lucky cases, the pelvis will creak open like a rusty door. If your pelvis remains shut even after the oil, select to have one of our doctors shipped to you.
Silo leg will likely haunt one in every twenty people who work in silos or handle silage for sport recreation. Those who drink grainshakes more than twice a day may develop silo leg in rare cases, and those who go barefoot around grain animals. A qualified medical doctor is required to irrigate and swaddle the affected leg& or that's what they made you think! No, we can fix it with drugs and only drugs. No cutting, no dripping, no loss of hopping. You will be back in your silo barefoot in no time. Send us a photo of your leg and we will mix the right drug for you.
Big February discount! For St. Abelard's Day, dress up your festering leg in a Kroique du Abelard when you take your photos! Funniest Kroiques win big savings!
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.