You like some red velvet cake with layers of sweet, butter cream frosting? Theoretically so do I, but here's some low grade shit with ripples.
Remember that girl who used to answer phones at Charm City cakes? Now she is doing a Nintendo themed lesbian burlesque to cover her rent. I hope you're happy, Food Network.
Want to know how much fuck I give these days? How about you have a Caramel Fudge Brownie Sundae ice cream I concocted.
No, I didn't really concoct jack shit. They just wheeled this thing out of the Blue Bunny food lab and it tasted like a hot trash bag full of vomit and then they showed me a check with my name on it and I said, "DUFF APPROVES!"
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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