Dumb Quotes About Technology From Supposedly Smart People

Back in the 1980s Bill Gates definitely said "No computer will ever need more than 640k of memory, which isn't a lot of memory at all but there you go". This statement has haunted Gates ever since. To this very day people recall his stupid words and vigorously shake their heads at its shortsightedness, all too aware that the supposedly smart computer man was an idiot all along.

While that might be the most famous instance of a computer person revealing their dumb brain, there have certainly been many more.

"One hundred computers. One hundred computers should be enough for the entire planet. More than enough." - Dell Gateway

"What's that thing? (gesturing at a prototype iPad) I am going to eat that thing. It's going in my mouth and nothing can stop this thing from happening." - Steve Jobs

"Ow! Maybe I should stop bonking my head with this monitor!" - Sergey Brin

"I didn't come up with the idea for Minecraft. I can't code or design. I'm going to post mean-spirited, stupid complaints on my Twitter forever while everyone treats me with kid gloves because I'm a success in spite of myself. Oh, wait. That's not what I meant to say. I meant to say: Yes, I'll take the ostentatious house and ten thousand porkpie hats." - Markus "Notch" TotalBiscuit

"If you took the entire internet and laid it end to end, it would weigh more than the other thing. It would weigh more than it would if it wasn't laid end to end. Like, if it was a ball of rolled up internet it would weigh less. I'm pretty sure. It depends on the size of the scale, I think." - Marissa Mayer

"Durr what's a computer?" - Me

"(feral hissing from a dark corner, where he retreated in a flailing panic after the sound of a booting computer frighened him)" - Steve Ballmer

"When you think about it, there's no way to input things into a computer. It's all... the holes only go out, right? Like you can plug a keyboard or a mouse in but that's a trick because the computer thinks the inputs are outputs. That's a programmer trick, basically magic. The key to the future is to make holes that go in too." - Mark Zuckerberg

"(asked earnestly to an empty conference hall, a 1980s-era cassette recorder held up before her) Where's the exit?" - Kara Swisher

"I went to a website the other day and right at the top of the page it showed me my ip address. It was the most disturbing moment I have ever experienced. This website even told me what internet browser I was using, and what day it was. Computers can do anything." - Edward Snowden

"When you stop and think about it, a smartphone is basically a whistle you can carry." - Steve Wozniak

"I like my puter. It's got a good proccy in it. The mobo is nice. It's a good comp." - Elon Musk

"A lot of people are joking about the Windows 10 error message that says 'Something Happened'. Well, that's not on me. My original idea was to not have any errors at all, and for the operating system to be called Windows RT ME One." - Satya Nadella

"Computer am future. Computer am good. Computer do all." - Veronica Belmont

"(excited hooting)" - Gabe Newell

"NNN-YAH! (circling around a dot matrix printer with his arms tucked in like a T-Rex, biting the printout triumphantly) RRRRAAA!" - Tim Cook

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)