You're perfect and beautiful.
Your wealth is unlimited.
Your power is beyond the reach of nations.
How dreadfully boring.
Fortunately, you are qualified to join Exclusivus, the world's most exclusive recreation organization, since 1680.
Among our members are kings, leaders of industry, and nine US presidents: the other presidents did not meet our discerning membership requirements.
You already have everything you desire or you would not have been contacted. It is time to have all the things you were not yet aware you desired.
We tailor our experience packages to the individual, these are just some suggestions...
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.