This article is part of the The Great American Reach Around series.
Albany is the capital of the state of New York. It's a city. Oh, and HEY, what's that over there...it's New York City! Sorry, Albany. You just aren't worth a whole lot when you share a state with what may be the greatest city in the world. You would be a fantastic city in, say, Idaho. I'm sure I would devote the whole Idaho entry to you if you were in that state.
Hey, don't look so sad. Come on, cheer up. At least you aren't Buffalo!
While the readers from Albany take a minute to write me an angry email, let's move on to our foreign representatives from the Emerald Isle. Ireland is a nation divided by a difficult history and those dastardly British we kicked out of America years ago.
We shall not speak of shamrocks or leprechauns.
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.