So you're an old man, probably writing for one of the nation's most prestigious newspapers, and you have decided you want to write a column conveying your opinions about sexual assault. This is perfectly natural. You are an expert on every topic, but especially expert when it comes to those nubile nymphs at college. Over the years you have developed some strong opinions about college women being sexually assaulted. And why they are exploiting their sexual assaults for profit. Take a deep breath. Gather your thoughts. Consult our helpful guide to writing about sexual assault.
Welcome to Gamer Hell, where those who committed sins in online games must pay for their crimes against noobs for eternity.
Russian President Vladimir Putin has sworn to personally investigate the murder of opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. In fact, Putin plans to use his expertise to solve most major crimes.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.