I'm getting a headache just thinking about the Fake SA today. I'm sorry to inflict such a pain upon you nice ladies and gents, but it had to be done. I blame the Internet.
I feel dirty
Ryan "OMGWTFBBQ" Adams here with something fresh. Something new. Something disturbing.
You remember back when you were about 9 years old, and how on the weekends you'd bounce out of bed at 7 A.M.? And then you'd run to the kitchen, grab a chair and get the most sugar laden cereal in the house down from the top shelf. After making a huge mess pouring the milk you'd plop down in front of the TV, ready for three or four hours of Saturday morning cartoons. Man that was the best day of the week!And here we go, screwing those wonderful memories right up.That's right boys and girls; this week marks the first part in a trilogy of Comedy Goldmine updates, "Erotic Saturday Morning Cartoon Fanfics." We're disgracing all of your favorite morning fare, like He-Man, Doug, Alvin & the Chipmunks, and more!Here's a sample:
Adam fell to the ground, out of breath. Man-At-Arms was being much too hard on him with all this training.
"I'm sorry, Adam, but this is the way it has to be," Man-At-Arms said with a sigh. "Skeletor could attack at any time, and both you and He-Man must be ready."
"Man-At-Arms," Adam said, as he stood up. "I understand that. But this is too much. You're much too harsh. I always thought of you as a second father, but the way you've been acting lately has scared me. It's like you don't care about my safety."
Man-At-Arms looked into Adam's eyes. "I've always cared about you, Adam. More than you will ever know. And now I'll show you."
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.