This article is part of the HYURGI TIGERWOODS series.
Behold prophecy...here is your future...
Is TRUE. Education is one thing they cannot take from you. Other thing is skeleton but they can take in parts. Times of economies are tough but you need job training, skills, and certificates. GET YOUR DEGREASE. Welcome to the future. Your future. Of Internet education.
For only 19.95 per month you can get on computer and get degrease from HYURGI'S SCHOOL OF ULTIMATE UNIVERSITY AND WARRIOR SPIRIT. Accrediting in Moscow Oblast, greater Russia, Belorus, part of Ukraine and no sorry no Tajiks allowed INTERNET BLOCKED from Tajikistan. No child is to be left behind on this affair. That means you.
Lovely facility located in prime real estate of Elektrogorsk. 600 room building with many corridors and teachers. We have nine computers on staff. Hook it up www to go to the cyber surf dude. HYURGI GARANTEED.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.