From: Ultimate Human
To: Diana, She-Queen of Human Resources
CC:
Subject: not gonna be able to make it in today
hey diana

not gonna be able to make it in to the Justice Legion today. I just realized I could fly into the sun so I'm gonna check that out. The dark vidgilante said he could cover my shift. If you cant spare me let me know and ill fly backwards around the planet to go back in time to when my shift started and then be there for the shift. I think that will work........

U.H.


From: Agua Hombre
To: Diana, She-Queen of Human Resources
CC:
Subject: This is BULLSHIT
Diana,

I hate putting this on you because I know it's not your fault, but I am at my breaking point with Ultimate Human and the Dark Vigilante and that little catamite of his making fun of me every time I'm on a mission with them. First of all, Ultimate Human is as dumb as Space Dog and is usually either high or so hungover from partying that he can barely see straight. Secondly, Dark Vigilante has no super powers ZERO FUCKING SUPER POWERS so he has no business making fun of my talents.

Yesterday we were trying to find the Atomic Crab and Ultimate Human could obviously see him on a mountain with his supervision, yet he pretended he couldn't and insisted I ask an entire family of otters, nine different species of fish, and a VERY uncooperative turtle if they had seen a 90-foor tall radioactive crab in the river. Dark Vigilante suggested I ask "that brown snake" and he kept nodding his head towards my tights and tittering.

Das Wunderkind calls me "fish taco" and the Dark Vigilante calls me "The Aztec Dolphin" which I am pretty sure is racist. Ultimate Human sometimes calls me "Browntown" and I'm not even sure what that means.

If you don't do something about all of this harassment I am going to deal with this myself. I might not be able to do anything to Ultimate Human, but I don't think Dark Vigilante even realizes that I am 200 times stronger than a normal man. I'm telling you, Diana, I could put my fist through that caped loser's chest in a heartbeat. I don't want to become a villain, but they can just keep pushing me and find out how evil I can be.

Carlos

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