Today I made a stop at Starbucks for a quick jolt of caffeine. The line was kind of long, but not long enough to dissuade me from getting my coffee. Anyway, ahead of me in line was a dude dressed as a clown. I guess maybe he was hanging out at the park or a hospital or something and needed some coffee.
When he got up to the counter, he just kind of stood there honking his nose but not actually ordering anything. The barista lady looked really annoyed and asked him what he wanted, but he just acted like a clown. He tried to get her to smell his flower lapel, but she wasn't having any of that, which made him look really sad. He turned around and frowned for everyone and mimed big giant tears coming out of his eyes with his fists.
After about 30 seconds of this nonsense she asked, "How about a frappuccino?" The stupid clown smiled and clapped.
When she rang him up, he reached into his pockets and turned them inside out, and they were huge joke pockets like five feet long. She just shrugged and handed him his drink and told him to leave. The idiot clown took a bow but honestly no one was impressed.
I was checking Facebook today and there was a new friend on my list that I didn't recognize. His name was "Chuckles" and he was dressed like a clown. What the hell? Anyway, I removed him from my list and I don't know any stupid clowns and I sure as hell didn't make him my buddy. What a strange day.
Took a bus today because my car needs an oil change. There were seriously four clowns on the bus, which is the most I've ever seen on the bus before in my life.
After a few stops, they got off. I noticed the bus stop they got off at had like five other clowns already there, just sitting waiting for another bus. A couple of them were juggling and one was reading the newspaper upside-down.
I looked at the lady across from me and said, "The circus must be in town." She looked very confused.
"Because of the clowns," I added.
"I hadn't noticed," she replied in a slightly annoyed tone.
Yeah, guess it's pretty easy to notice all the guys dressed like rainbows.
No circus in town or any reason for clowns to be here. There's no clown convention in town either. What the hell is this nonsense?
I noticed a few of my friends were gone from my friend's list. Somehow I have a few more clowns on the list as well. This time it's "Mr. Wobbles" and "The Amazing Balto" and "Railroad Gus." I removed them all.
You know, clowns aren't funny to begin with. I guess I'm not in on the joke. Too bad everyone else seems to be.
It is 2016. I think it is high time that Captain America have a dog man as a boyfriend.
A brave pop culture addict puts his foot down once and for all.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.