Tomorrow my eFiancée Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka and I are moving into our stunning new apartment in the red light district complete with hoez and crank. The down-side to our move is that we will be leaving behind our cozy, maggot-infested hole that we have worked so hard to defile in favor of a place that is despicably new and clean. The up-side is that from our new home-base, we will be able to move all of our 'equipment' into a building cleverly disguised as a gun store from which we will finally release our armies of sentient, tiny gun stores to take over the world and bring us burritos and nicotine gum. We will also be able to buy milk. In the mean time, we are very busy doing things like grunting and putting foot-porn in boxes, hence we are unable to spend a great deal of time entertaining you poor saps. Instead, please enjoy the following awful link and prank, and then, go straight to hell.
This is a phone prank that Interwebnette Aficionado Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka and his friend Chris Horton did circa 1963. Be sure to listen for the allusions to moralism in Trotsky's theory and the parallels between existentialist thought and ripened tomatoes coated in Ex-Lax. And the part about the goats; that part's funny.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.