Tomorrow my eFiancée Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka and I are moving into our stunning new apartment in the red light district complete with hoez and crank. The down-side to our move is that we will be leaving behind our cozy, maggot-infested hole that we have worked so hard to defile in favor of a place that is despicably new and clean. The up-side is that from our new home-base, we will be able to move all of our 'equipment' into a building cleverly disguised as a gun store from which we will finally release our armies of sentient, tiny gun stores to take over the world and bring us burritos and nicotine gum. We will also be able to buy milk. In the mean time, we are very busy doing things like grunting and putting foot-porn in boxes, hence we are unable to spend a great deal of time entertaining you poor saps. Instead, please enjoy the following awful link and prank, and then, go straight to hell.
This is a phone prank that Interwebnette Aficionado Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka and his friend Chris Horton did circa 1963. Be sure to listen for the allusions to moralism in Trotsky's theory and the parallels between existentialist thought and ripened tomatoes coated in Ex-Lax. And the part about the goats; that part's funny.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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