All information (driver's license, bank records, credit card records, written request) has been faxed to Paypal. Once again, our donations are completely at the mercy of Paypal. If their "we assume every customer is a lying, cheating thief until they prove otherwise" department hurries up and realizes that I'm trying to run a charity donation drive, the money will be heading to the Red Cross. For some reason, I'm not going to hold my breath. It's the experienced cynic in me.
Oh wait, here's an update:
Dear Richard Kyanka,
This message confirms that we have received the documents you faxed to PayPal regarding Case ID PP-102-838-544.
The documents have been successfully attached to your PayPal Account and will be reviewed shortly.
We review faxed documents in the order in which they are received and generally require 3 to 5 business days to process these documents. Once we process your faxed documents, we will contact you about the status of your PayPal Account.
Also, at the last count, you guys donated a whopping $27,695.41 to the relief fund. $27,695.41. I still can't even grasp the magnitude of your generosity. $27,695.41, in less than nine hours. Along with my $3,000 donation, that's a total of $3,836.92 AN HOUR. That's insane. No matter how frustrated I am with having no business, no website, and no Paypal customer support, I'm still blown away with you guys. If the SA community was a living human being, I'd plant a big fat kiss on your face.
On 9/4/05, Marc Weston firstname.lastname@example.org wrote:
Hurricane Katrina has caused countless tons of human waste, toxic chemicals, and abrasive poison to flood the streets. It's also done the exact same thing for the Internet. You folks taking this opportunity to troll me, to threaten the lives of myself and my family; you really need to reassess your values in your life.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.