Server Update II: The Reckoning

Sunday, Sep 04, 2005 by Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

All information (driver's license, bank records, credit card records, written request) has been faxed to Paypal. Once again, our donations are completely at the mercy of Paypal. If their "we assume every customer is a lying, cheating thief until they prove otherwise" department hurries up and realizes that I'm trying to run a charity donation drive, the money will be heading to the Red Cross. For some reason, I'm not going to hold my breath. It's the experienced cynic in me.

Oh wait, here's an update:

Dear Richard Kyanka,

This message confirms that we have received the documents you faxed to PayPal regarding Case ID PP-102-838-544.

The documents have been successfully attached to your PayPal Account and will be reviewed shortly.

We review faxed documents in the order in which they are received and generally require 3 to 5 business days to process these documents. Once we process your faxed documents, we will contact you about the status of your PayPal Account.

No comment.

Also, at the last count, you guys donated a whopping $27,695.41 to the relief fund. $27,695.41. I still can't even grasp the magnitude of your generosity. $27,695.41, in less than nine hours. Along with my $3,000 donation, that's a total of $3,836.92 AN HOUR. That's insane. No matter how frustrated I am with having no business, no website, and no Paypal customer support, I'm still blown away with you guys. If the SA community was a living human being, I'd plant a big fat kiss on your face.

On 9/4/05, Marc Weston [email protected] wrote:

Out of the tragedy of the hurricane comes some good news, it has put a scumsucker like you of the net, no doubt when you get back on you will be your usual sick self and mock the afflicted who were unfortunate enough to be physically affected by it but for now we can rejoice in the fact you can no longer peddle your warped rantings for a while, it's just a pity that it was your server and not you personally, are you going to give a refund to the nomarks that are feeble of mind who subscribe to a service you can no longer provide ? I doubt it !
Don't rush back because a nasty smell has been removed with the loss of your rancorous s(H)ite.

Hurricane Katrina has caused countless tons of human waste, toxic chemicals, and abrasive poison to flood the streets. It's also done the exact same thing for the Internet. You folks taking this opportunity to troll me, to threaten the lives of myself and my family; you really need to reassess your values in your life.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

Previous More Front Page News Next

This Week on Something Awful...

Overthought Pick Up Lines
08-01-2014 by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons
Classic pick up lines for the sleazebag who tends to overthink things.
Chuck Palahniuk's Lifehacks
07-31-2014 by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.