Gutentag, meine damen und herren.
Today is a somber day for the Reich. It is the day we honor our brave men und women in uniform who have fallen in combat. These proud Nazi warriors have given all they have to the cause and to the Fatherland. We remember their names, their heroism, and their deeds. We honor their service to our great nation.
In the coming days Prombles will completely revolutionize the way we think about useless household devices. With less expensive alternatives like Amazon's Echo and Google Home already on the market, what can our smart speaker offer you, the customer?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.