Gutentag, meine damen und herren.
Today is a somber day for the Reich. It is the day we honor our brave men und women in uniform who have fallen in combat. These proud Nazi warriors have given all they have to the cause and to the Fatherland. We remember their names, their heroism, and their deeds. We honor their service to our great nation.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.