Lobsters are so hideous that the person who discovered that they're edible was either desperate or crazy (or maybe so terrified that he just started biting the thing).
Hey raccoon. Washing garbage before you eat it doesn't make it not garbage.
If pigs are so smart, why haven't they sorted out their PR issues?
Wasps love picnics and I love a cool drink of cream soda that stings the roof of my mouth.
The rattlesnake is nature's landmine.
Anyone who's ever playedOregon Trailcan tell you why bison nearly went extinct: killing them was the only fun part of the American West.
Vultures are pigeons that escaped from Silent Hill.
Sure, parrots are cool, but you can teach kids to swear too, and they'll stop screaming and pooping indiscriminately after a couple of years.
Snails are just M&Ms for ducks.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.