This article is part of the Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Reviews series.
Drinking fountain enthusiasts, or sippers as they prefer to call themselves, are a rich culture with an equally rich vocabulary. If you're new to the scene and eager to learn the lingo, look no further.
Aqualung - a sipper who has honed his technique such that he can go for long periods of time without coming up for air.
Astronaut's Fountain - a fountain that, through staggering incompetence, has been installed upside down.
Babydrowner - a fountain that is positioned uncomfortably low to the ground. Also called a toadbath or pubecatcher.
Baptismal - a fountain considered overly precious or sanctimonious.
Barnacle - someone who spends long periods of time at a particular fountain, preventing other enthusiasts from drinking. Also called a nozzlehog.
Birdbath - derogatory term for an inferior fountain. Also used to describe outdoor fountains frequented by birds.
Bottler - someone who monopolizes a fountain to fill up water bottles. Bottling is controversial in the sipper community, though many swear by it. Dedicated bottlers often preserve vintages of their favorite fountains, even keeping them for years past a fountain's lifespan.
Bowel Blaster - a fountain teeming with parasites known to wreak havoc on the stomach. Also called a bubbling crude or sick sip.
Cold Stallion - nickname for a quality fountain with a strong, cold flow.
Daysipper - a fountain dilettante; a sipper with only a superficial or passing interest in the hobby.
Duckpond - a fountain with a faulty or clogged drain. Also called a beaver's playground or drowned damsel.
Dribbler - Someone who does not swallow, but merely tastes the water as it splashes against their tongue and open mouth.
Drooler - a fountain with a slow, weak flow. Also called a Gary or tongue teaser.
Fool's Fount - a fountain no longer in service, with no running water. Also called a dry well or tombstone.
Fountain of Youth - a fountain commonly frequented by children and teens, who lack respect for fountain culture.
French Sip - term for the slow, weak and ineffective sipping technique practiced by Europeans.
Gulp and Go - the act of filling your mouth with as much water as you can, then swallowing as you walk away to save time. Especially common with fountains in hostile or dangerous areas.
Gum Guzzler - a fountain frequented by youths and ruffians that is often obstructed by gum and other trash.
Gummer - an obsessive sipper who has removed all his teeth to facilitate stronger mouth-to-spigot suction. The broader sipper community holds gummers in low regard, viewing them as little more than savages and mad men. As such, most gummers are nocturnal and extremely skittish. See also: power sip.
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Reviews of Shaggy Butte's drinking fountains, from Spout.ly and other rival sites.