Here are just a few of the submissions from the exciting and thrilling "Design a SA T-shirt Contest". As you can see by the results, most of the people who sent in drawings have been mentally scarred by some kind of bizarre alien medical experiment, and the damage is very noticeable. Perhaps I will start a fundraising telethon for them. Then again, perhaps I'll just settle for simply cowering in a corner of my room for a few months.

The Sexy

From: Charlie Straker

i have designed my own shirt. the fron would have the SA logo, but the back would be cool. the back is attached..

Oh yeah, a "Heroes of Extreme Futuristic Wrestling" shirt would just kick so much ass, unlike the people who are actually in the league. But, then again, the EFW doesn't really seem to have any heroes, just goofy slobs like Fat Nick (featured above), so maybe that's not such a great idea after all.

From: Illythia

Don't you think one of Jeff K.'s high quality illustrations should grace the front of your t-shirts? I sure do! Something like this would be good. Mine is pretty crappy, but I'm sure Jeff could do something really great, and similar, because I think it should have him on it portrayed as a very muscular man with a machine gun. It's only proper.

I'm not gay, but I have to admit, this shirt turns me on. I want to fondle Jeff's gun.

From: Greg Olson

This isn't for you contest (mainly cause the majority of your readers haven't realized the full potention of FEEDERS) but I just thought you'd like to know that I'll be marketing this shirt myself under my new clothing label, "PoloniaWear"

While I agree that this is a great idea, I think Mark Polonia should be showing off his trademark "rotting array of broken teeth" that he has grown famous for. Well, that and making awful movies involving aliens with whiffleball heads that want to invade Earth.

From: Colin Bonstead

Here's my entry. Watch out, it may "explode in every direction".

...and I would welcome that. Ahh, good ol' Frankie Burke, touch me in the special way only you can.

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.