But it is gone now. It probably had something to do with calculating the square root of your soulmate. That's what we're all interested in here at Something Awful; the calculation of soulmates. I've personally calculated over 14,000 soulmates just today. I calculate the hell out of some soulmates.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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