Pastor G. Ezekiel BeauregardLast Monday, I was busy putting this coming week's message ("Obama. Osama. Coincidence? Potluck dinner this Sat. Night") on the sign of the Preston Valley Faith Hope Evangelical Southern Baptist Church of God in Christ and Spirit when I was approached by that godless heathen Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey. I instinctively went for my crucifix , but he stopped me, explaining that he was doing a special on Godly videos on his computer column this week and wanted me to write it. Since he clearly has no experience with anything Godly, I immediately accepted as it was an excellent chance to witness to liberals, environmentalists and other such damned people. Plus, I have a lot of experience writing columns, as I do a bi-weekly one in the Fosterburg Patriot newspaper. I hope you enjoy partaking in fellowship with these Godly internet videos!
Yours in Christ,
Pastor G. Ezekiel Beauregard
P.S. I am including some of my favorite Bible verses as well as some of my favorite quotes for you to ponder while watching these videos! Hopefully, they will lead to a happier, more fulfilled life and an even deeper love for our Savior. Have a truly blessed day in Christ!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!