Pastor G. Ezekiel BeauregardLast Monday, I was busy putting this coming week's message ("Obama. Osama. Coincidence? Potluck dinner this Sat. Night") on the sign of the Preston Valley Faith Hope Evangelical Southern Baptist Church of God in Christ and Spirit when I was approached by that godless heathen Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey. I instinctively went for my crucifix , but he stopped me, explaining that he was doing a special on Godly videos on his computer column this week and wanted me to write it. Since he clearly has no experience with anything Godly, I immediately accepted as it was an excellent chance to witness to liberals, environmentalists and other such damned people. Plus, I have a lot of experience writing columns, as I do a bi-weekly one in the Fosterburg Patriot newspaper. I hope you enjoy partaking in fellowship with these Godly internet videos!
Yours in Christ,
Pastor G. Ezekiel Beauregard
P.S. I am including some of my favorite Bible verses as well as some of my favorite quotes for you to ponder while watching these videos! Hopefully, they will lead to a happier, more fulfilled life and an even deeper love for our Savior. Have a truly blessed day in Christ!
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!