Hey gang, I spend a good bit of time on Twitter, and I spend a good bit of time thinking about it. I also spend a little time looking at every other website's awful, terrible, no-good list of "who to follow" because they're all either the obvious picks, or loaded with terrible bots and fake parody personalities. Nearly every one of those lists is horrendous. Here's a better list, all of these accounts are personally vouched for by yours truly. They're really good. If you like free jokes beaming into your phone or computer 24 hours a day, give 'em a whirl.

If you've ever seen SA's bi-weekly Twitter Tuesday feature, you'll recognize many of these names. That's because they're good at what they do, and if you followed them already I wouldn't have to tell you about them, you lazy asshole.

The list is presented with one Hot As Hell tweet from each person, but you can bet there are a million more, too.

Starter Pack 

You have to follow these accounts in order to proceed.

Fancy Hollywood Types 

Tell you what, these folks. Waist deep in the belly of the beast while telling jokes and wisecracking on their phones all day.

Pretty Boy Booklearners and Politicos 

Whenever anything ever happens, I wait for these folks to make sense of it and tell me what to think.

People Who Make More Internet 

These clowns are the rare type who are funny on Twitter and write for supposedly credible news and commentary websites.

Actual Humor Comedians That Really Are Comedians 

If you don't know these folks' names yet, you probably will soon. Or maybe you'll die in a car accident tomorrow and never see it, who knows. They're great on Twitter and even better in person.

Internet People 

Nobody knows where these people came from or why, but they sure do some good tweetin'.

Now friends, I will be the first to admit that this list is horrifyingly incomplete, but if I've erred egregiously, feel free to tip me off to some humor geniuses I've overlooked and they might make it into a future article or Twitter Tuesday. Or not, maybe just keep it to yourself. Regardless, the list above is high-quality as all heck and I suggest you get to following right away!

– Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)

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