If you're like CNN, you might consider Twitter to be hivemind of humanity, where all of the world's thoughts and ideas go to be discussed in a fair and friendly public space. If you're like anyone with a drop of common sense in their loosely-affiliated skull parts, you'll know that Twitter is just as stupid as the rest of the Internet. That said, it's only natural that I spend a terrible, huge, ugly amount of time on Twitter. Over the past few months I've come across and saved many real posts which I think are enjoyable for many different reasons, and would like this opportunity to share them with you.
Today you will need a car, to drive yourself far, far away from your computer, and hopefully off a couple cliffs in the process.
Wait, so this is happening and Justin Bieber is still more interesting to talk about?
Yo, FYI, vaccines are fine and your kid isn't a Reverse Spiderman.
Deb from Accounting anticipated my move and brought in her Bowflex. I suppose you could say... I didn't "account" for her power play.
Unfortunate child needed to wheel back and forth in a manner pleasing to the eye while Hollywood Megastar Paul Reiser makes jokes all around you, in every direction!!
Bet you've never heard of my all time favorite band, Fleetwood Mac? They're pretty obscure, I'm not surprised.
"Better wear all black, wouldn't want anyone to think I stand out in any way!" - Idiot Man
"Oh, look, it's me from the future! And there's another me, made of anti-matter! All three of us are reaching out towards the exact same point in space, our fingertips on a collision course."
Levi Johnston finally comes clean about his involvement in the Weinstein scandal and details a disgusting incident that required a green screen.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.