Yes. Hi. Hello this is my show.
I'm the host.
If you're like me, you love yum yums. The region I grew up in was a great area for the dish, a true "yum yum paradise" if you will. A family member used to make yum yums every Sunday morning before we all left for the weekly funeral. Now when I find myself whimpering in my shadowy apartment obsessing over the fact that the best years of my life are long behind me, I make yum yums to feel like a kid again.
Before we get started, here are some yum yums I prepared ahead of time. You can really see how- wait, can we get a tight shot? Go ahead and put that camera right up to there and zoom that thing in all the way so the folks at home can get a good look at this marvelous treat.
Perfect. Let's get started.
First you need to find a person. Look around. They're usually standing. If you are in a wooded area, look for something that looks like camouflage with a face on top. Is it breathing??
Now that you found a person, keep an eye on them. Don't let them interfere or this whole thing will be ruined. Use rope or some bungee cords if you have to. It's natural to want to find another person to watch the first one, but don't do that. You'll only wind up having to keep an eye on both of them.
Now open three cans of this.
We had to remove the label for copyright purposes, but you can find cans with labels at your local supermarket. Get your favorite brand. Mine's the one with the picture of the product on it. Mmm!
Now mix all of that in a large bowl with half a measuring thing of water and three tablespoons of- achoo! Yikes, sorry! That powder makes me sneeze every time.
I like to mix everything by hand while I watch sports. It usually takes about one twelfth of a cricket match minus the commercials. If I'm off by more than a minute, I find that the recipe is completely ruined.
Okay, now it's time to heat things up. Preheat your oven at the usual temperature and put a pan about this big on the second rack. Take a skillet and a pot and put them on the stove. Make sure the burners are hot, but not too hot. Go outside and fire up the grill. Plug the toaster in and prime it. Now you're ready to make anything if unexpected guests show up.
Apply your yum yums to the heat until they start to turn a very particular shade. There it is! You can't mistake that. Looks perfect.
Now I'll plate up my yum yums. It may not seem like it, but plating is one of the most crucial steps of the process. Let's pull the camera back as far as it can go so no one at home misses anything. Keep backing up. Zoom out as much as you can, too, okay?
There we go.
Now this is my favorite part of the show, where I get to eat the dish and convey its qualities in detail. I'll just take this bite here, from the outside part. That's always my favorite.
Oh, wow. Yeah, it tastes... really good! I like that. Very tasty. At first it hits you with this delicious flavor, but then a more subtle yumminess wafts in. Just how I remember it.
Thanks for watching. As always, if you missed out on anything in today's show you can head to the website for a full transcript of this episode.
Until next time, I'm your host. This is my show.
Step One: Salvage a ridiculous chair from a race car or a fighter jet. Now it will support your ridiculous body as you play a virtual card game.
Leonard Cohen's "Nevermind" is sliced up differently for each episode of True Detective's second season. Find out what the lyrics mean!
The water got bigger? my sand castle was destroyed and we had to move. Who did this?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.