I make no secret that I am a big fan of the Bradford Exchange, which makes some of the most useless crap ever conceived. Bradford Exchange is more or less a part of a company called Collectibles Today, which manufactures even more worthless crap. Seeing is how they don't make or sell a single useful thing, I thought they would be a fine target for the Something Awful Forum Goons, and that turned out to be a pretty correct assumption. What follows are some alternative products Collectibles Today is welcome to start making. Sadly, some of these aren't too far from what they already sell.

OmniPhobe abandoned this image on my doorstep with no more than a note.

Lister has a reputation for ruthless behavior and merciless killing sprees.

King Gonad commemorates only the finest deaths.

I hate Snoop Dog and I guess that means I'm not fond of itstime4lunch either.

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