SpaceMouse has never actually been seen in the same room as his prized "World's Largest Pumpkin." PERHAPS THEY ARE ONE IN THE SAME??
Spiffarino is the world's soggiest man, a title he earned for himself by soaking in a tub of milk for five days.
Spiffarino's dying wish is to be fed to starving children.
Straws hasn't been the same since the bastards took his Matlock away.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
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