Starting the inevitable close-up on page three comes Eddie Smith, a person with possibly the most generic name in the history of the universe. "Hey Eddie Smith, this is John Doe! Want to grab a popular namebrand consumer product and head to the ACME Palette store?" Then the entire palette store would explode because it was inhabited by evil aliens who got blown up by Space Marines. Who were in orbit. Floating. In space.
From: Eddie Smith
Oooh, that Eddie and his crazy liberal dating policies! What a card! Let's put a lid on this mamma jamma with the following deep and insightful comments from astute reader "Brad Taylor," a guy who must be so smart that he's in MENSA or the Safeway Card Club or something.
From: Brad Taylor
I can't speak for the other guys here, but I know I personally am a "fucking fagget" that "can't get no women" because I am currently "eating your dog's ass." I'll ask Kevin if he's a "fucking fagget" but I doubt he'll respond because he's the laziest man in all of Los Angeles and he's currently gathering moss on his head.
UPDATE: Kevin claims he's not a "fucking fagget," but I think he was lying. If you saw his face before, you'd know what I'm talking about.
UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: Kevin is mad.
UPDATE ON THE UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: Kevin went to bed.
Well that's all for today, but keep your eyes peeled for more fun flamefest with your favorite "fucking faggets" this side of the Pecos, whichever side that may be! Real Reviews for Real People! Go team! USA #1 USA #1!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.