Every angry email I receive just makes me more powerful.

From: [email protected]
To: Zack
Subject: Regarding your "Mass Effect 2 review"

Mass Effect isn't the same thing as Star Wars you fucktard. And there is no multiplayer in mass effect. Your "review" contains so many innaccuracies I dont have the time to point them all out. Someone as stupid as you doesnt deserve to fucking live. Where do you get off saying there was gay sex in mass effect. there was only straight sex and lesbian sex. Your the one thats gay and you need a good dick up your ass. Once my nigger cousin gets out of jail hes going to knock your teeth in and make you suck his dick. May you rot in a steamy circle of hell.

Sincerely,
Andrew J. Manspeaker
PS. May you die whilst choking on a nigger cock.


Thanks for the email, Andrew J. Fakeguy. I would write a pithy comment about your repeated references to homosexual rape and black people, but you and I both know we're just playing a game here. Rape is never funny. We're both consenting adults here. If you want to calm down and take a deep breath you just go ahead and let your cousin know that I'd be happy to rip a monster fart on his boner. Ah, excuse me, his nigger boner.

From: [email protected]
To: Zack
Subject: Worst.Review.Ever.

I am sure you have already received dozens of emails correcting your grossly inaccurate Mass Effect 2 review posted January 21st, 2010. It is hard to know where to begin to correct the misstatements and weird claims throughout the review. I am one of the top wikipedia editors of Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 articles, so I have to correct this sort of thing quite frequently. I will do my best to help you correct and improve your article.

The most glaringly obvious errors are your repeated references to the absence of Star Wars characters. It's true, they are absent from Mass Effect 2, mostly because Mass Effect 2 has nothing to do with Star Wars. You may be thinking of Knights of the Old Republic, another great Bioware RPG that is related to Star Wars. However, based upon some of your other inaccuracies you probably have not even heard of that game.

You slammed Mass Effect 2 for not allowing you to import save games from versions running on different platforms. Then you made a claim about using Xbox points to buy your save game. I do not even understand what you are trying to claim or why you would assume that save games could be transferred from your Xbox to your PC.

If you had bothered to play the game you would realize that you claim that the Collectors are a "new alien race" that is "unrelated to the Reapers" is not accurate whatsoever. How you managed to spoil a key plot point in your review (bad form!) and yet not know that the collectors were constructing a reaper from human DNA baffles me.

You mentioned that the amount of talking in Mass Effect 2 was a "big drawback." I suppose that speaks to your poor taste in quality video games, but it is also ridiculous. You are able to skip most conversations in Mass Effect 2 entirely. It is up to you.

Near the end of your review you made several completely false assertions about "trophy kills" and "limb destruction" among other erroneous claims. I have no idea what game you were playing, but none of the features you listed are present in Mass Effect 2. Again, I am forced to doubt that you ever even played this game, but your claims are so wild here I suspect you might not have even watched a trailer for the game.

You reference the "removal of gay scenes" from the romance options in Mass Effect 2. Ignoring your celebratory homophobia, this comment is not even accurate, as the game Mass Effect did not contain any homosexual romance options. You may be referring to the romantic options with Liara T'Soni from Mass Effect, but she, like all Asari is mono-gendered and able to reproduce with males or females through a process known as melding. This is similar to heterosexual intercourse, but is in many ways superior.

Finally, your comments about DLC and list of ridiculous items that you obviously made up are, of course, incorrect. Nor is there any in game advertising.

Please let me know when you have updated your original article.

Robert C.

Hey Robert, just letting you know that I read through your very helpful email and I have updated the original article accordingly. Thanks for all your input!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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