Are people's lives so vacant that they feel the need to religiously attach themselves to a certain console, one which hasn't even been released yet? Is a video game system important enough to get this worked up over? What does Nintendo, 3DFX, or id Software do for you? Do they give your life purpose and a meaning? Do they pay your bills? Do they show you an undying love? No, they manufacture products, products which you spend your money on. We are consumers, not whores for giant companies. Believe it or not, there are more important things in life than video games, and people who get this bent out of shape over a console obviously lead very empty lives.
This still very much holds true today as I will demonstrate in these responses to the Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas review.
Amount of Flames Recieved: 116
Let's begin this trainwreck, shall we? As is the case with previous instalments of Truth Media flame mails I have included what I imagine the people who have written these flame mails look like. It's "humorous" you see.
From: "Brian Phillip Dudman"
Unfortunately the first few flame mails were jokes. While we want real flame mails, not fake ones from people who think they are King of Comedyland, we just might have a possible future Truth Media reviewer here. Just keep working on that B.A. in Bullshitting and you'll have yourself a job writing for Something Awful or being president of the Fox network in no time.
However we soon got a flood of San Andreas flame mail. Things were looking up, or down, depending on how you look at it.
From: "Muro Hasigawa"
Well you are certainly welcome Muro. I did in fact read the whole thing. However, I feel I must correct you on some of the points you made in your email. Everybody knows that placing your PlayStation 2 in a vertical position causes it to scratch the disc. What you want to do is place the PlayStation up-side-down so that the laser can fall down onto the disc, instead of having to be pushed up to the disc. Let gravity do the work for you Muro. This is what smart people do. As a smart person I feel it is my duty to educate the less fortunate. I know you weren't trying to be an ass, Muro. But the bottom line is that you were. We here at Truth Media work pretty damn hard doing what we do and feel that we do it better than anyone else. Thanks for writing in, Muro.
Our next fan had some strong words to say about my agenda against Rockstar.
From: "a c"
Listen a c, I'll spare the A.C. Slater jokes that you are probably already used to in middle school. The bottom line is that Rockstar games is a shady company that engages in evil business practices that ruin the industry. I have exclusive tapes of Rockstar executives stealing candy from children. I have video of Rockstar producers pouring sardine oil into the sewers. I have an agenda? What about Rockstar's agenda of making games people enjoy playing? Look, I'm all for video games, but it gets to a point where these games are just getting to long to play. Rockstar is introducing a generation of children to obesity and scurvey. I don't know any children, much less children who go outside. I once saw a kid that was 500 pounds on Jenny Jones. That kid probably played Grand Theft Auto. I'm pretty sure the other paragraphs in your email had important things in them but this is big business A.C. Slater and I have a date with a Swedish whore.
On the next page there is an email that probably has something to do with my San Andreas review as well.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.