Welcome to the Webcam Ward where I've been playing a video game non-stop for like 13 days, going to the bathroom in a Kleenex box and subsisting on protein powder and Red Bull and assorted things in my garbage. I'm at Level 79, and they only XP I can earn is from a quest to watch terrible YouTube videos every two weeks. In this episode, Diabetus and I face the Orc of Wes'sv'Urginia.

When someone wrongs you, it's time for vengeance. I'm not talking about the type of revenge that involves hospital recovery, visiting old shady friends for weapons, and brutal action sequences culminating in a fist-fight with the bad guy when you both run out of ammo. I'm talking about the kind of retribution that would make Jason Statham and Bruce Willis shy away and tell their agents they need safer gigs. I'm talking about grabbing a camera, bringing it to a parking lot and showing my ex-World of Warcraft guild what I think of them bullying me. Then calling them fat even though I weigh a ton in each shank. And having tons of shanks that I film. And then uploading it to YouTube. Then coming to the too late realization that I could've done anything I wanted in my life; it didn't have to be like this. Anyway.

I feel like I'm in one of those infinitely looping computer programs where one of the lines is "30 GOTO 10", where 10 is "Watch YouTube video in disbelief" and 20 is "Ask what has to be wrong with the person who filmed it." Like, seriously, every God damned day, the Internet finds a way to top itself. I feel like video transcoding programs should all have a pop-up that says "Wait, really?" and both of the buttons under it are labeled "Cancel". That's a lot of tech humor, and you might think I'm a hypocrite for making fun of someone for being a dork, but again, World of Warcraft guild bullying led to this. I stand by this paragraph with my head held high, reader.

One last disclaimer, the... person... featured in this video was at least smart enough to take it down, so what you're viewing is actually the product of someone else downloading the original, putting a watermark on it (which I cropped out, because it's simultaneously disingenuous and FUCKING CRAZY LIKE SERIOUSLY LOONEY TUNES CRAZY to claim false ownership of this), and re-uploading it. We'll never know what her (yeah, I know) username or reaction to this is, but I think that's for the best. If my glass of water starts to generate concentric circles on the surface, I'll know to run away, and that's all I need. Run away or maybe even just walk, not even that fast, really. Whichever.
(Thanks to Cam for the video!)

World of Warcraft gangster girl threatens your fucking life

Bankrupted from buying genetic lottery tickets and losing. Added:
Description: people, this isnt me. User: kyuss
Rating: 667/1130 people like this video!
Views: 134,808

Best Viewer Comment: hahahahahaahahahahahahahaah.. "take the first shot if you dare, cause that's what i fucking learned inÿ Ninjitsu".. WHos does he/she think she is? Ninjitsu blows anyway

That does it for this week at the Webcam Ward and if you run into a downright horrible video on the world wide web, let us know!

– Michael "slowbeef" Sawyer and Dia "Diabetus" Betus

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About This Column

Long before the internet, very boring people created very boring home videos. Thanks to cheap bandwidth and fast internet connections, these people are not only able to share their horrid disasters with the rest of the world, but they are actually encouraged to make more! The Webcam Ward is staffed with the finest internet guardians, all ready and willing to draw a line in the sand and shame the shameless into video retirement.

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