Welcome to the Webcam Ward where we are piloting the Vic Viper through an asteroid field and the asteroids are pockmarked with laser-ring shooting Moai heads and the equivalent of having three options and lasers is to watch terrible YouTube videos every two weeks. In this episode, Diabetus and I destroy the core.

Webcam Ward: So this is who you chose to lead these two E3 press conferences?
Konami: Yes! We here at Konami are very excited about our new upcoming products.
Webcam Ward: But... they can't speak English.
Konami: Yes, they speak English.
Webcam Ward: No, no, they speak some English, as in English words leave their mouths, but I meant not well. Not well enough for a press conference with an audience of English speakers, certainly.
Konami: We here at Konami are all about paradigm shifts and thinking outside the box-
Webcam Ward: But I can't understand what they're say-
Konami: UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A!
Webcam Ward: Wait, wha-!

Konami disappeared in a cloud of smoke, while I was left wandering the desert, looking for answers I would never find.

KONAMI E3 2010 Press Conference: ONE MILLION TROOPS!!! VERY VERY EXERCISE!!!

In loving memory, Tak Fujii: Beheaded by Hideo Kojima three hours later. Added:
Description: 0:00 Ninety-Nine Nights (Tak Fujii)
4:04 Dance Masters (Naoki Maeda, Thomas Nagano)

User: PrimeBlue
Rating: 1611/1668 people like this video!
Views: 250,406

Best Viewer Comment: What the hell is wrong with those japanese guys??ÿ What a collection of bizarre guys. Realy....
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That does it for this week at the Webcam Ward and if you run into a downright horrible video on the world wide web, let us know!

– Dia "Diabetus" Betus and Michael "slowbeef" Sawyer

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About This Column

Long before the internet, very boring people created very boring home videos. Thanks to cheap bandwidth and fast internet connections, these people are not only able to share their horrid disasters with the rest of the world, but they are actually encouraged to make more! The Webcam Ward is staffed with the finest internet guardians, all ready and willing to draw a line in the sand and shame the shameless into video retirement.

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