My boyfriend told me he was a very bad man and was mean to a lot of people! My boyfriend likes Slipknot and has a red car and we are going to have sex on Martin Luther King Jr. Day!!!

Now we know what happened to goatse.

That doesn't exist and will never exist. The laws of physics don't allow it.

I guess I'll be having nightmares tonight.

Special thanks to my FYAD friends boco_t, Nick Hexum, Squibbles, DocEvil, LAShock, Kade, Lobotomy Bob, Zwalharulzuki, Key Grip, dukeku, Tazzo, Digiwizzard, Magnuit, Mr. Tim Caum, uniball, Gaybee, schmitty9800, ems, Fry Pappy, Crazy Dazed, Dancing Peasent, Blue Dandy, Jadeite2, jest, MrRock, OorahAirForce, and Weasel for contributing to this report. It's these men's lust for pornographic magazines that gets me through the day.

Do you know of an awful forum that should be included in a future update? Send in a link!

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.