This week we spotlight four terrible forums that make me wish the internet never existed.
Who Posts There: GovTeen is inhabited by droves of young boys and girls whose parents are too neglectful or dead to tell them about the birds and the bees. This results in clueless wonders that don't know their dicks from their balls and choose to let the world know how ignorant they are. I'm pretty sure there are also many forty to sixty year old men jerking themselves off over at the 'ol GovTeen boards as well. They might even post some steamy stories from time to time.
What is Posted: Questions like, "Is my dick too small?", "Do boys like boobs?", "When did you first masturbate/have sex?" are common at GovTeen. These are asked over and over again no matter how many times they have been answered. I don't know how many people can ask, "I like dicks and I suck dicks and I love to jerk dicks off, am I gay?" and not figure it out themselves. Yes! You are probably gay!
Let's get started shall we?
This guy posts on a teen sex forum and loves Battlestar Galactica with a passion. He's going to go far in life.
I guess "Mike06's" parents don't like him saying naughty words. I don't blame him. My grandmother hated it when I cursed. This one time I got this excrutiating cramp in my leg and started screaming, "Damnitt! Damnitt! Damnitt!" Well my grandmother got up and started beating the shit ouf of me with a television remote control the best a sixty five year old woman can. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Don't get cramps at grandma's house.
"Mike06" is one talented ASCII artist.
You might be a redneck if...
"987789" needs answers and he needs them now.
They also masturbate with the broken hearts and dreams of all the men they've left behind.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.