Whenever I see a pregnant woman I think of one more person to be stuck behind in traffic. I imagine five more minutes tacked on to my wait in the supermarket checkout line. I think of another screaming kid in the movie theater that just won't shut up. I think of the unlimited potential that the child has to become as big of a fuckup as he or she can be. How can that possibly arouse anyone?
You know that at events where a lot of pregnant women congregate there are inconspicuous men standing around eying their large bellies while jerking themselves off through their pants.
Aren't the characters in Pokemon like 13?!?! GODDAMN!!!
This makes me sad.
Why can't people just have normal sex lives?
This is getting hot.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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