I Am So Very Sorry

No new content today, boys and girls -- monkeys broke into Lowtax's hotel room while he was out purchasing cases of counterfeit prescription drugs, and unsuccessfully mated with his laptop. While he's getting it cleaned he'll be unable to check in with another Cancun diary, so you'll all have to wait to hear what new and interesting varieties of tropical spiders have been laying pods of eggs under his skin.

To fill the void, I was in the process of writing this big long piece about the FBI 10 Most Wanted List and how it's really fallen on hard times from its heyday when it had the real bad guys who murdered and pillaged - guys like James Earl Ray, Ted Bundy, or Hannibal Lecter. Now we have a former piano player for John Mellencamp, Eric Franklin Rosser, on the list for allegedly producing and distributing child pornography. The piece I wrote was talking all about how the world is too safe of a place nowadays and why is it we barely have any really good bad guys, but then I realized that even for a site called "Something Awful" it was a bit much. Here's a partial list of what the piece contained in case you're really curious:

  • The idea that John Mellencamp's ex-piano player should be taken off the list and John Mellencamp put on in his place
  • A really forced gag comparing the album name "Nothin' Matters and What If It Did" to child porn
  • Something about J. Edgar Hoover in drag
  • 43 "Bangkok" jokes

So actually you should probably be glad that I decided to toss the whole thing.

Forum Fun Continues

In case you missed it, there was more wild and crazy fun today with the forums when they were spontaneously deleted. Luckily eFront neglected to empty their Recycle Bin and after some quick h4x0ring, everything appears to be back to normal... for now. While on the subject, thanks to Snooty Upper Class Toff for an ad banner that eFront should consider putting into rotation. I'm sure Lowtax wouldn't mind too much.It's true, you know


– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful