Since I've inadvertantly put it off for some time, I'd like to start up the previously hinted at "Southern California Something Awful Goons", or as I like to abbreviate it, NAMBLA. No wait, that's not the correct acronym at all. Regardless, the SoCal SAGs will meet something like once or twice a month in the Orange County (Costa Mesa) area. We'll go out, you all can tell me how I'm screwing up SA and what I'm doing wrong, I'll explain how I don't care and attempt to punch you in the mouth, and then we'll drink a lot of beer. Okay, I admit, the main point of these meetings revolves around me drinking a lot of beer. However, that doesn't mean we can't discuss current events or something equally boring during the process of me ordering and waiting for more beer.

If you live in the Southern California area and would be interested in attending some social events with other SA goons, drop me an email. I have a special, top secret forum set up where we can discuss the stuff, and a mailing list for the events as well. If you're up for hanging out sometime (and live in the area), send an email to this address and I'll hook you up with the details. Make sure to tell me the general area where you live.

In case you missed the first official SA Goons meeting, here's a photograph somebody was able to take before being escorted out by security. That's me on the left.

"Finish him!"

FGN Online - who the hell reads this crap? Take a look at this quality content from "How Good Will Max Payne Look?", regarding the upcoming Max Payne game for the PC.

How Good Will Max Payne Look?

A recent post on the Max Payne forums suggests that the game may not have that incredible look we've all seen so far...

...Does this mean that Max Payne won't have those stunning graphics we've all been waiting for? As soon as we know, you'll know.

Wow! Give me a second to digest all this valuable information! According to FGN Online's article, the answer is an astounding "we don't really know"! What the hell is the point of this article if they're not going to even answer the question they first bothered asking? Do they need to fill up disk space on the server? Are their writers paid per article? Hey FGN Online, I'm available for freelance writing if you're interested. Here's a sample of my work.

Will John Romero Make Daikatana 2?

Will John Romero make Daikatana 2? Most people don't think so, but he might. I think I read somewhere that he was going to, or saw a post on a public forum claiming that. I don't know, but as soon as I find out, I will possibly write another article. In the meantime, buy some stock. My kid needs braces.

There. FGN Online has another piece of "content". I'll be looking for a check in my mailbox. If I don't see one by this Friday, I'll send a bill to IGN.

More hot and spicy ROM Pit review action coming at ya, sissy! Strap yourself in for Slamma_Jamma's (I don't make up their names, folks) review of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.


Sorry, I just love reading that quote from the review. Hell, I'm going to print it again just for the fun of it.


Read all about Injun Joe and his dinosaur.

After going on some kind of crazy rampage and breaking all the links in Cranky Steve's Haunted Whorehouse, top reviewer Squonkamatic has decided to review two more awful Quake 2 maps, setting his sights on "Dead" and "Flood". Hoo boy, more winners.

Like a two headed monster from a horror movie, everyone's favorite Swedish juvenile delinquent Quake2 level designing team of Daniel & Fredrik come crawling out of the swamp to try and top the gag reflex triggering awfulness of their epic "Piranha Pool" with yet another demonstration of how to do everything wrong with a map editor and seemingly remain oblivious to the fact.

Somebody using bad colored lighting in a Quake 2 map? You gotta be kidding me! Regardless, check out the two new reviews.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

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    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

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