Quiet now, please, the burrow is silent and the friends are sleeping. Let us speak of the new campaign in very low, sweet, sweet voices.
I b... began this election ready for anything. Tumbles and hoots, big billy belly, a pinch on my ear, shadows on the slats, and something w... what bites. I knew there would be no milk for the honey.
I handed the torch to Zuckerberg. He is gentle. He sees in mostly normal wavelengths. Surely he understands the humans. These are the things I whisper when the candles snuff.
But I am... shhhhhh... I am wrong. Zuckerberg lusts for bloodmeal. He greps the cookies. If the price is zero point zero dollars then the product is gentle creature. Maybe also my many eggs.
Instead I turn my orbs to the son of sons, the good boy, the quiet boy, Jared (whispered ya-red) Kushner.
He is the right choice I t... think because of:
The 666 building is not a pyramid or a temple. It is actually a tall building and it belongs to Jared. After Father dies from burger problems Jared will be ready to swoop... ssssswooop in. Hooray. He will represent the silent majority of good boys in America.
If you are ready for an America where moms are taken care of by good boys, where no child goes to the bus stop needing his face wiped, where the bed is dry six nights a week unless you give him a Diet Coke after 7 PM... this is the good boy's America. If you are ready to work together and get the Chinese to finance 666 then you are ready for the good boy, the absolute good boy, Jared.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.