Twas the night before Catsmas, and all through the land
Theaters downloaded patches, to fix Judi Dench's hand
And I in my gaming chair, and Lowtax in his full body cast
Had just settled in, to watch a Korean webrip of Cats
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I overcame my agoraphobia to see what was the matter
When what to my wondering eyes should be spied
But a miniature sleigh pulled by eight terrible CGIs
With a little blue driver so lively and fast
I knew in a moment it must be movie Sonic (first pass)
"Now Lawnmower Man, now Young Jabba!
Now 100 Agent Smiths and Dancing Baby!
On Dragonheart, on I Am Legend infected!
On Scorpion King and Crystal Skull monkey!"
So up to the house-top the monstrosities they flew
With a sleigh full of gifts and human-toothed Sonic too
A wriggling bundle he had flung on his back
And he looked like a pervert opening his pack
He deposited the gifts, under our decorated tree
A dozen Cats, half rendered and completely horny
Each had a blurry face and breasts without nipples
That swelled as they dry humped human-faced pickles
Every cat moaned, spread-legged to present its sex
And in my throat collided a gasp and gag reflex
Sonic sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a shrill whine
And away they all flew from the scene of the crime
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
HAPPY CATSDAY TO ALL, AND TO ALL CGI FRIGHTS!
Every now and then a forum member posts something so creative and impressive that I stop shouting in anger at my monitor. Today I'd like to highlight a particularly amazing post.
Advice you don't want from a maniac you don't trust.
If you are Will Wright or anyone at all please read this!
finally, some posts with class!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.