Our choice here is to fight or do something else. How do we get ourselves out of this one?

Who What Now

Offer the Phalloknight the use of our pixie-skin cloak to use as a makeshift condom/dick cozy dashing cape as a bribe. When he goes to accept it stab him in his eye.


Just kick him in the nuts

Epic High Five

Describe in great detail extremely unsexy things, then strike while the knight is limp and vulnerable


my suggestion is to appeal to the Phallonight's sense of chivalry and ask him to dine with us before he slays us. then slip some pixie shavings into his food


Kicked the scanner and it started working again. Here's where we left off. As you can see most of the options suggested by the thread are in there:

So if attacking's out of the question because winning is impossible, let's try the other ways out of this mess. I didn't bother scanning the pages for trying to ruin his boner with words or talk him into realising you're not a valid target under the laws of chivalry. They share the common theme of there being no time anyway - before you could wreck his action you are hit with a huge spear. Same deal for running, you just get run through back to front instead of front to back. So I guess that leaves us with:

Dr Cheeto

Be the sneaky, cowardly bastard you are


bend over and take it

Well what do ya know. Always bet on being a piece of shit in this book, I guess!

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