From: "andrew smith"
Subject: Your Halo 2 Review.

Alright, you have quite a few problems with your review, and alot of ill information.

1) The Xbox is much more powerful than the PS2, much more feature friendly as well, the PS2 runs with a 257 MHZ processor, the Xbox has a 700 MHZ processor, with a built in harddrive (unlike the $100 upgrade for the PS2). Also, the Xbox has a built in Ethernet (Unlike the also expensive upgrade for the PS2).

2) From seeing your review I question if you even played Halo 2. There is a co-op horizontal split screen, seeing as how I just played through the entire game on co-opperative with a friend on horizontal screen.

3) Alot of your article was prejudice opinion, you critiqued the music of the game, saying you thought it was bad, that is your opinion, not a fact. The music is unimportant,it was not outstandingly good or bad, nor does it need to be. It had some classic Halo tracks and cheese rock which you stated it was missing, another reason why I do not believe you played it, or do not believe you played it thoroughly enough to write such a review.

4) Xbox Live does not skate around on Halo 2, the Bungie servers are operating quite well and it is MUCH faster than the PS2 online games, in which some poor people are playing on dial up.

5) I'll admit the story confused me towards the end too, but it was basically just the same thing as Halo, I was unimpressed in that matter, but there was genuine fun to be had in the game.

6) IT WAS EASY?! Have you even PLAYED it on legendary. Holy fuck, wake up and smell the coffee.

7) You attacked people who play Xbox games in general. And say they are too stupid or too poor to afford/operate a computer. This is bullshit. You hypocritically support the PS2 several times in your article, which is a console.

8) You slur names several times in your article, and I wonder are you intoxicated? Deaf? Have eye trouble, I mean what the hell.

9) Only 2 maps are recycled from Halo, and they are classics everyone wanted in Halo 2.

10) Jesus Christ, The Graphics in Metal Gear Solid 2 were shit. Substance(an XBOX release) was a massive improvement.

11) The Xbox does not simply "crash most of the time" that is bullshit, like your article.

12) I never had the flashlight go out and I used it for 3 minutes straight during a part of the last level, nor did I see a battery bar anywhere.

13) There are several modes of Capture the Flag, Multi Flag, 1 Flag, Classic, all of them are different, you clearly did not go very far into this game.

14) My experiences on XBOX live are geneally good, and I think the voice communication is much more efficient than typed messages written by people trying to strafe at the same time they type so "sniper on the hill" ends up "sipnr no het ilh."

15) Consoles have certain advantages computers do not, such as, perhaps your friends come over, and you want to play together, this is difficult on a computer, yet very easy on a console. Also, let's say you're going on a trip and you want to bring something along to keep you entertained in the hotel room. I'd rather bring my console than my entire fucking desktop, monitor, keyboard, mouse, and speaker system. Now you're going to say "Well I have a laptop." Alright fine, you win, I simply do not have $2000 to spend on a Sager notebook that weighs 8 pounds. Or, try this, instead of having to install your game, put it in your console, and play it immediatley.

16) Halo 2 is going to sell into infinity. You are a total dumbass for thinking that just becuase shelf sale hasn't peaked that it is going to flop, there is a little date coming up that marks the largest date in consumer spending year round, and when many of the copies of Halo 2 will be sold: I'l give you a hint, it starts with a D and ends with a ECEMBER 25.

Now before you think I am some blind XBOX Halo 2 zealout, think again. I own a PS2 and I also bought the Extra Harddrive and the Online Adapter. I own San Andreas and after playing both of the games side by side I know I will get more play out of Halo 2. What you didn't mention was how easy it was to manage clans, the party system, easy friend management, voice messaging, customizable character/icon options and many other features the game has, I feel Halo 2 was worth the money.

What the hell? Did you write your thesis paper on my Truth Media review? Git a'long. If there's anything I learned from this experience it's that Halo 2 fans write the longest emails that ever existed. Say what you will about their intelligence or odor, you have to admit these are some passionate people.

Boy howdy.

From: "Dylan Carey"
Subject: The prize for worst reviewer ever goes to...

Man, you really lack when it comes to reviewing. Everything you said in the Halo2 review was misguided or deadset wrong. Just reading that review made me feel embarrassed for you... It sounds like a retard's got stoned and decided to try his hand at reviewing :S
Get your facts straight you man.
I'm 15 and get D's for english at school, but I'm sure I could write a review 10 times better than that.
I hope that article was just a joke : /

I won?! Oh my god! I won! I really won! You like me! You really like me! Oh gosh. I didn't expect this. I want to thank my agent, my mom and dad, everybody in FYAD. And most of all I want to thank my Lord Jesus Christ. We did it baby!

Finally, the recognition I deserve.

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About This Column

Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.

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