From: "george dickerson"
Subject: Halo 2 revie w!!!!!!! FUCK WHAT IS RONG WITH YOU

what kind of ufkcing revie w is this I fuck did u even Play the game evver I mean it is like u did not. thiz game is awesom the graphics arent caped at 12FPs you liar they aer at leastt 100FPS in the gam and the texters are not blurry. fuck u!!!!!! if u rly playin this game I see u online my gamertag is "TurkletonFAST" have a nise day.

I actually did add this guy to my Friends list on Xbox Live and we played a few rounds of Halo 2. He is really quite good at the game and gave me a run for my money. We actually settled our differences and I explained to him that it was just a fake review and I didn't mean any harm. He said it was cool and invited me to a Halo 2 LAN party in Southern California. I decided to go and actually had a great time. After the LAN party I was a little tipsy and decided to crash at George's place. We talked games for a while. After a long pause he asked me if I had ever kissed another man. I said no but I was curious about it. He asked me if I wanted to try it and I said alright and nervously inched forward to where George was sitting. We moved our faces close together and gently touched lips. It felt nice. It was a feeling I had never experienced before, but it felt good. We started making out when suddenly his mom came into the room and asked what we are doing up so late. She was horrified and chased me out of the house. I didn't even have time to get my pants. I rode the bus home in my boxer shorts.

Say hello to James Bloomfield. You're on the Spokker Jones Show.

From: "James Bloomfield"
Subject: Mistakes in Halo 2 article. 14/11/04

Right....okay first mistake

Not smart enough to operate a PC? Not rich enough? What twisted pseudo-Darwinian nightmare did you spring out of? Still believe that if you are poor you must be intellectually inferior? If this article is any indicator of wealth you would be so poor, just destitute. Poorer than a dust bunny.
DO NOT condescend those people you are telling to trust you by implying that the mere ownership of a PC or similar operating platform ensures vast intellect. How many people would you consider intelligent in your life? How many own a PC? Did Gandhi own a PC, could Nelson Mandela have completed his walk to freedom without his trusty PDA, would Napoleon have conquered most of mainland Europe without his faithful iMac?

Halo has sold over 1,500,000 copies. The main enemy in Halo are known as the Covenant. Not coveners. The Master Chief is not a member of the US armed forces. He is a UNSC NonCom officer.
He hasnt been called out of retirement. What game were you playing? Bungie has also decided that it be left up to player discretion whether the player learns the back story to the game. Its called a fan community. They have published three books on the back story and there are numerous references on the internet. This is to inform journalists and to help them write a balanced, coherent article. Obviously you have never researched these books.

Cortina? Who is that? Oh....CorTANA. Right. I get it. Someone hasnt been paying attention to the game they were supposedly playing.
Cpt Jacob Keyes is dead. Youre right. However Jacob is a mans name. Tell me, does his daughter look like a man? Is she ever referenced to as a man? Did you actually watch the introduction?
The Covener (whoops sorry Covenant!) do not wipe out Earth. That is just wrong.

Okay. On what difficulty did you play Halo 2? Was it Legendary? I doubt it. However I could be wrong and you may be better at videogames than you are at writing articles. Highly likely considering how utterly poor the writing standard of this article was.

Um...not dual welding. Dual Wielding. Maybe just a typo.

The flashlight has a battery time of around about 3 minutes in Halo 1. It is infinite in Halo 2. One debates how much time you spent playing the game? The 30 seconds it took you to decide the flashlight wasnt working? Next, its a device. You know. A good example of a device might be the idea of the heroine in a horror movie always going into the basement in a haunted house.

Right. Halo runs between 60-90 frames a second on XBOX and around 45-65 on a high spec PC. Maybe you just read something somewhere that gave you the wrong impression. I.e. the article I just read convinced me you are an idiot. Maybe its wrong, but, like you I would have to believe the scant evidence in front of me.

Also yes scenery is important but the vast majority of people would disagree about Halo being "muddy and sparsely detailed". Yes video game reviewers have touted it. You have not. Succesful professionals at the top of their field or a lone man behind a computer? Your choice who you believe.

Also how are we to trust someone who makes a comparison between a game (MGS2)that was described by Edge Magazine as "A most shoddy graphical style disturbs the crucial link between game and player." Note that this magazine is the Benchmark reviewing standard for PC and Console. Note also it gave Halo 1 a 10/10 (one of only 6 games in the Magazines 8 year history to recieve this mark.)

Another idea about the frame rate on PS2. Maybe it has a the same frame rate because the games it is playing are not as demanding graphically? Could it be?

You have also let your review slip again into "in my opinion..." territory again. You say "an action game really needs techno and happy hardcore music". Maybe this is the reason Halo is so good. Because it doesnt have to do what the stock of other games do. You appear to be reasonably attracted to the idea of every game being the same. Maybe its a PC gamer idea?

XBOX LIVE has a non lagging game rate of 87%. On my time playing PC games I noticed substantial lag but little complaint about it. Now maybe the one bastion of superiority that PC owners might claim has disappeared, online play for the commoners! Shock horror.

The Ball games do not consist of the player running around and earning kills with the ball. No. Points are earnt via the holding of the ball for a certain amount of time, with kills being added to, rather than being the main body of points.

Unreal Tournament is a good game. Your first coherent point, well done! Cast your mind back to Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. Would you say that may have had a significant influence on Unreal Tournament and Counter Strike? On Half Life? So we build on the games that come before to create a perfect last attempt. No influences on your games obviously.

You have been a hypocrite and contradicted yourself. You wish that all games had the same same music yet want games to be GENERIC! Thats just silly. Your article barely makes sense, it is ill informed, does not work consistently as a piece of writing and is based on opinion rather than acknowleding fact. I respect an opinion but an uninformed opinion from someone masquerading as a serious journalist/review writer is simply farcical and insulting.

Judging by the emails recieved so far, you could probably fit on average eight San Andreas hate mails inside one Halo 2 hate mail. They are that huge. I made a lot of mistakes in my Halo 2 review last week and I really want to beg for your forgiveness. Pray for me for I have sinned. Please God help my soul.

Uh, Steve Harris. You're up, kid!

From: "Steve Harris"
Subject: Halo 2 Article

First of all Halo was never planned to be on Mac, it was planned for Pc. Second, it was never planned for Ps2, and the ps2 is NOT more powerful than the X-Box. I have no idea where the hell you got your information from, but it's certainly not true.

Halo 2 isn't called Halo 2 Combat Evolved. Nice try though.
People who play Halo can't afford to buy a PC and or configure one? You're an idiot. Try not to be so biased when writing a review, and actually state the facts, as opposed to being a complete jackass and telling lies.

Reading your review is like putting shards of glass into my eyes, it's amazing. After the first paragraph, I got tired of your inane babbling, and decided it was completly a waste of my time.
And yes, emailing you will be another 5 minutes wasted of my life, but I just wanted to let you know how horrible of a reviewer you are.
I love how you put everyone should play GTA San Andreas down there at the bottom, that just proves even further that your an ignorant jackass.

The funny thing about this email is that Halo was actually planned to be developed and released on the Mac first. Bungie was eventually bought by Microsoft and the rest is history.

Hey now.

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