I'm seconding this but also try to fit the store greeter somewhere in the story. Make him a lighthearted old pervert, but not too over the top.
"Oh Batman!", Catwoman moaned, as he thrust his Bat-a-rang into her yearning vagina. "You have conquered this pussy yet again."
Won't someone please help this blind old man?
Joe Adcock. Family man.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Guess what's back? Frosty tundras! And me.
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
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