Yes, it was stolen. I have discovered the true source of Coldplay's "inspiration". And I have the proof
The first first was, of course, the Big Bang. Before the Big Bang created time, the universe, such as it wasn't, was pre-consecutive. Eventually the universe will come to an end, along with time, and it will be post-consecutive. For now, time exists. More or less.
Womyn are not myth. Womyn are real. In the grocery store, in the post office, in your parent's house sitting next to your dad, womyn are everywhere. There are those experts who estimate that over half the population of our small blue Earth is now womyn. But the outlook is not entirely dire! Here is a brief guide on living in a post-womyn world.
Some of you might remember our unofficial campaign video, "Barack Obama: A Tribute to Hope". Now, eight months later, all of our dreams have come to fruition. Indeed, our dreams have born fruit. We are holding dream fruit, and that dream fruit is Barack Obama's impending presidency. The triumph of the hope, a new video.
Most of you have probably heard of the case of Ashley Todd, who shocked the dumb portion of the world with her story of a black man carving the letter B in her cheek. But what really happened that night? How did she end up with the letter very very lightly scratched on her face? Answers within…
Somewhere across the country, a junior agent was being thrown into a whirlwind adventure of epic proportions that was just getting started and promised many exciting future installments. Here, much to his surprise, the Acting Manager of Thought Acquisition for Worldwide Conspiracy Inc. acquired a thought.
He had been a lifelong conspiracy man. He had kept his nose down, assassinated world leaders and innocent civilians alike when ordered to, manipulated at least one US President into office, and now found himself stuck in a dead-end middle management job in an aging conspiracy that was rapidly losing ground to newer conspiratorial competitors.
The consensus in the scientific community is that these collisions will shed new light as to how awesome explosions can be even when they are really small. Another good reason scientists give for colliding protons is that it will help us develop our understanding of what happens in nature when a giant machine smashes two protons together.
At that moment, they were in the Mountains of the Six Gods, a popular spot for hikers, skiers, and evil lords seeking remote strongholds. Past the mountains were the Foothills of the Six Gods, which were less impressive, but good for picnics, mountain biking, and less-evil lords wanting a stronghold at a convenient commuting distance from home.
We were being taken to something called a Mega Event, which would be a huge Zionist rally on an IDF base near Tel Aviv, attended by the Prime Minister of Israel and thousands of young American Jews. It promised to be the most entertaining and flashy propaganda I had ever been forced to watch.
We've noticed lately that a lot of people are discounting the possibility of Hillary winning the Democratic nomination. This kind of attitude is un-American. It's just wrong to act like someone has been elected months before the party big-wigs have had their say in secret meetings involving the exchange of personal favors.
I am writing in regards to the advertised position in your black metal band. I would very much like a chance to be part of this venture, and I feel that I have the rock god skills necessary to efficiently build and maintain a high profile Satan-worshipping black metal band.
The action-packed conclusion to this classic spy thriller in which an old guy chases a giant flying robotic boot on the White House lawn, and another old guy gets yelled at by a Russian midget. Don’t miss it!
An ex-secret agent and an ex-mad genius, desperate for the return of their glory years, team up for one really badly thought out plan. It does not go well.
The fracas over states being left out of the Democratic primary has highlighted the absurd assumption that allowing every state to have their say in national politics is a good thing. The truth is that not every state should be allowed to vote. Some are too dumb to vote. Some are too evil to vote. Some are Florida.
The Wolf Queen spoke first: "Young Misha, you were found in a time of need. Our oracle said to send a pack of wolves to the Warsaw ghetto, and there we rescued you. You have lived with us and learned. But the oracle has again spoken, and it seems that you are to play a much larger role in our world than any of us could have anticipated."
The Yes We Can video made me realize that anyone, even me, could make my own tribute to Obama, and hopefully have an effect on the election. I got my friends together and created a concept that gave his message in an accessible way. We spent a few days scripting, filming, and editing, and created “Barack Obama: A Tribute to Hope”
Hey there guys. Basically I'm just a normal home-schooled Christian kid and every once in awhile they let me write a little about my life and what I think about things. Also I will be making some jokes because this is a funny site for jokes. Today I want to talk about my cool new Asian friend. I met him at the mall and he owns a Playstation 2.
America is a wasteland as Fat Cat Hollywood writers refuse to write for the eleventh consecutive week. The population grew desperate and then violent. A tumbleweed blew across the street. An old man rode by in an engineless Toyota Corolla pulled by a mule. "These are bad times," he said.
The primaries are about to kick off, and things are already getting entertaining on the political front. Instead of sticking to one topic today, I will go off about a lot of different stuff that’s happened lately. I’ve written a whole lot of words about the elections, and I’m passing the savings on to you.