Loneliness and Faye Valentine, submitted by Metroclone. If there is one thing more precious than obsessive losers, it has just got to be obsessive losers who latch onto a fictional character! Well drop the anchor, because we got an obsessive loser starboard side! Our host for this tragic journey will be the desperately desperate Hyphen-Man and his overwhelming sense of loneliness. The poor guy loves a fictional character from Cowboy Bebop. He loves her so much he goes into extended detail as to why they are basically soul mates. I once felt the same way about Cobra Commander, so I guess I can kind of understand him.
But enough of the superficial similarities. How about the deeper stuff? Well, what I really like about Faye is that she is a fundamentally good person caught up in really bad circumstances. After three years of being chased around by debt collectors, she was bound to form a crusty, cynical shell to protect her soft, squishy goodness from the harsh realities of her life. So when bounty hunters Spike and Jet finally walk into her life, she gave them the impression that she was a sneaky, conniving freeloader. Well, the fact that she spent much of her time on their spaceship eating their food, cheating them out of money, and torturing their dog didn't help matters much, either.
Cripes, I would have at least chosen a fictional character with less baggage! Your fake cartoon woman is damaged goods.
There is a lot more to the world of Hyphen-Man, including some not-so-flattering top ten lists. He says he enjoys poking fun at himself for the therapeutic value. I also enjoy poking fun at him for the same reasons.
He also has a humor section that actually makes me look funny. It's full of stories with such knockout zingers as:
The emphasis of college is not on the regurgitation of names, dates, and facts. Instead, college courses challenge us to think for ourselves. Whenever we're stuck, help is always readily available through TA's, professors, and other students. Ultimately however, we're the ones who are really in control of our own education.
I've been missing the ball on this comedy stuff completely! I honestly tried to find some sort of comedy in these "humor" stories but I just ended up taking charge of my education and enrolling in engineering school for some reason. Hey, those random anime images really help spruce your funny stories up, too. Way to go, Comedy Jockey!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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