Learn to Dance With Your Dog, submitted by Keith. I can honestly admit that it has always been my life's goal to dance with my dog. I have been spending years of study, attempting to figure out a way to get my dog, who doesn't exist, to dance with me. My obsession with dog dancing has isolated and alienated me from friends and family alike, ruining every relationship I had and will ever have. Now my life's dream has finally materialized in the form of the world's greatest website, "Dancing With Your Dog." This website instructs you, a human, how to dance with a dog, preferably yours.

This book is the written and enhanced version of Sandra's 3 instructional canine musical freestyle videos, "Dancing with your Dog" Getting Started; Getting the Rhythm; and Getting Applause. With detailed instruction on how to perform each dance move and illustrations by Tina Martin, you will have a step-by-step diagram for teaching your dog the freestyle moves. The spiral binding allows ready access to the learning material.

October brought a new dimension to Pepper's musical freestyle dancing - boots. She had not been able to perform on stages or floors that were the least bit slippery, which reduced the number of invitations that she could accept. Learning about dog boots that Sandra purchased from Canada opened the door for dancing on almost any surface. El Paso's Halloween Spooktacular at the city's convention center was Pepper first performance with boots. Sandra created an appropriate Halloween routine she called, "Puss and Boots." With Sandra dressed like a black cat and Pepper in her boots, they handled the slippery stage without a problem.

As a dog that didn't work for free, he learned early that obedience rings were doggie sweatshops, offering only meager pay--praise. Musical Freestyle was much more interesting to Jabba because there was always a treat or ball at least within smelling distance. Since he was never going to be in a canine freestyle competition, he would never suffer withdrawal pains.

Let me bring to your attention the fact that this person is currently not incarcerated and you risk the chance of encountering her on the streets.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.