hApPy PeOpLe SyNdRoMe, submitted by Simon. Trying to make something completely uncool and idiotic seem hip is about the fastest way to make something seem even more uncool and idiotic. It worked with saying "no" to drugs, it worked with stopping drunk driving, and it sure works amazingly well with "hApPy PeOpLe SyNdRoMe". What is this dreaded illness?

happy people syndrome (ha-pee pee-pul sin-drome) n. a condition in which the victim experiences extreme joy as a result of a relationship with Jesus Christ. symptoms include (but are not limited to): smiling uncontrollably, jumping off walls, raising arms in the air, falling to knees, loving life, and singing praise to the One above.

Basically this site is trying to raise awareness about happy people syndrome, which has systems that are similar to epilepsy only potentially more socially and physically damaging. I realize many of our readers may be suffering from this Jesus-transmitted disease and may not have even known it until I brought attention to the affliction and this site. If you do suffer from this disease I highly suggest you submit a testimonial, as that section of the web site is very lacking. Remember not to include any bad language because that is a key sign that you are not actually suffering from the disease.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.