CMR DESIGNZ, submitted by Tom. Christopher Rosborg wants to design you, the average lummox layabout lout, a "professional" website! His "professional" company, "CMR DESIGNZ," is a corporation built with the thickest roots in quality and service, as you can tell by the clever "z" instead of an "s" at the end of the word "designs." That's a little play on words to make everything seem so sleek and "professional." Once you become an ace at web design like Christopher Rosborg, you pick up on these little tricks of the trade.

Labor: $30.00 / per man hour (*)

Website Design and Initial Consultation:
$100.00

MY RESUME:

Education:
[ 9/6/2002 - Current] Suffolk County Community College Selden, NY
Information Technology

Awards Received:

Suffolk County Proclamation
Community Service Award
School Photo Award
Best Crew Award
Graphics Award
Technology Award

Wow, $100 plus $30 an hour to have Christopher Rosborg - THE Christopher Rosborg - design a website for me? That's a steal of a deal! If I throw in an extra $40, will I get a free picture of his greasy, misshapen, bulbous, irradiated face? I mean, this is the guy who not only won the prestigious "Graphics Award," but is also attending Suffolk County Community College! If you don't believe him, you can check out his schedule! It's very exciting to see what day and time he attends school! If you need any help navigating through the site, there's the ever-so-helpful Help Desk, which is a forum that he not only installed by himself, but additionally added his horrendously hideous logo to the top left. If you don't have faith in CMR DESIGNZ at this point, then head over and see his past clients, all of which I assume have never used or seen the Internet in any fashion whatsoever.

PS:

Hahahahahaha, Oh Christopher Rosborg, will you ever learn?

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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