Gilligan’s Island: Passion Fruit, submitted by Spokker Jones.My favorite show as a kid was Gilligan’s Island. I loved the zany antics of Gilligan, the grumpy, lovable Skipper, and of course the hot duo of Ginger and Mary Ann. Of course it crossed my mind a few times that the folks on the island might hook up from time to time, but I didn't think about it in detail because the thought of Gilligan naked made me cry. Well the creator of the site "Gilligan’s Island: Passion Fruit" didn't have the common sense I had when a young lad and has created some of the worst erotic fan fiction I've ever read. They could really take some hints from Zack Parson's helpful Guide. Take a few of these gems for instance:
“Nnnnnnngggggggghhhhh!” Gilligan groaned, as a glob of white burst from his cock, coating the palm leaves in front of him, as he fell backwards, landing on his ass. “Ow,” he said, falling backwards into a somersault. His head hit a tree, and he blacked out.
Hahahaha, that knucklehead! Even during sex Gilligan is the king of clowns. I've found that some of the non-erotic fiction parts are even worse. Take for example the unexplained guest appearances of Captain Kirk, Jerry Van Dyke, and Robin Hood. Yes, Robin Hood. Also, this was apparently written by a monkey with ADD, because for some reason there are line breaks every two sentences, like it's too much work to concentrate on writing about the Skipper fucking a coconut. It gets worse.
The Skipper stared. “Mrs. Howell!”
Her breasts bobbed as she walked over to him, her nipples beginning to erect. She glanced down; his towel was beginning to tent.
She put a hand on his cheek, then kissed him, her tongue pushing deep into his mouth.
The Skipper dropped his clothing in the grass, and wrapped his arms around her. She reached down and unfastened his towel, and grabbed hold of his penis with both hands.
She stepped back, pulling him by the cock. She lowered herself to the ground, pulling him with her. He crouched over her, kissing her mouth, while she guided his cock to the entrance to her vagina.
Noooooooooooooo! The Skipper and Mrs. Howell were never meant to have sex, ever! I can never watch this show the same way again. This site has officially killed and raped my childhood, and then sold it to gypsies at 5 cents a pound.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.